Why do people in love with another person, still stay married though not in love with their spouse?

Special Series | Questions from Spiritual Seekers | Answered by Neelam Sundaram, Therapist and Tantrika

Read this article in: English (American)

Estimated reading time:3minutes

Dear Seeker of Lovers and Lover of Seekers -

You, the true beloved and your karmic partner(s) need each other. It is in relationship with each other that all three of you come to understand the variations of love and relationships here on earth.

Remember, my dear, the karmic partner(s) are needed for spiritual unfoldment here on earth. As all of you learn about karma and dharma together, you free yourself from the samsara (the cycle of rebirth here on earth). Yes, the three or more of you together need each other - the true beloveds and the karmic married partners. Radha, Krishna, Rukhmani. Valli, Murugan, Devasena. Ganga Siva Sakti. There are numberous examples of the trinity of the beloved who loves the true beloved and also loves the karmic partner. 

All three partners come together to experience the journey towards unconditional love, nonduality, and oneness. You three are a trinity, as three connected awakeners of each other on your intersecting and unique spiritual paths. You three need each other to understand this glorious spiritual unfoldment fully. The three of you, each of you, play different roles and all three roles are essential to explores the depths of karma, kama, dharma, and moksha. 

I share with you a hundreds of years old Carnatic song explaining the bond between the Beloved, the True Beloved of the Beloved, and the Karmic partner they share. The Trinity. 


Sri Valli Devasena pathe

Sri Valli Devasena pathe

By Papanasam Sivan

Translated by



Sri Valli deva senapathe ,

Sri Subramanya Namosthuthe


DEvatha sarva bhouma , jaya,

Jaya dvishadbuja karthikeya ameya,


Mamava sada Shivakumara ,

Vimani krutha chithra mayura ,

Sritha kamitha phala dhayaka ,

Hatha soora karuna jaladhara jagad aadhara.

English translation


Oh consort of Valli (Beloved) and deva sena (karmic),

Oh Subrahmanya (True Beloved of Valli) my salutations


The commander in chief of devas, victory,

Victory to the twelve handed immeasurable Karthikeya (You married your karmic after conquering significant inner demons)


Oh son of Siva who is always my True Beloved,

Oh God who flies on the pretty peacock,

Oh fulfiller of the desires of devotees,

Oh Lord who killed soora and Jaladhara with mercy, Oh basis of my world, my True Love.


Metaphors of True Love

I’ll explain the metaphors soon as they are quite complex and I’ll need another hour for explaining the beauty of these metaphors.

Hear this contemporary singer who beautifully renders this Carnatic devotional song about the Beloved Valli, her True Beloved Subramanyam, and their shared Karmic Devasena.

I am Vallisundaram Subramanyam, Beloved of my Sundaram my Sundaram

You belong to the Beautiful Ones, oh Seeker, you are one of us, oh Beautiful One.


I am Neelam,

Sundaram Sundaram


Mindful Therapy and Counseling, Inc. | Therapy and Tantra

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